My daughter has been experiencing a fair bit of anxiety the past few nights at bedtime. This isn’t normal for her. I’ve just been doing what any parent would do… Just trying to be there for her as we work through this phase.

Tonight I had her snuggled on me with her head upon my chest. We rocked in the rocking chair, slowly sharing silly stories. Out of nowhere she stopped, looked up at me with a serious face and said, “I’m not a baby anymore. I’m sad. I want to be the baby!”. Imagine how stunned I was as she confided this in me. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked up at me. My heart broke.

Have I not been focusing enough attention on her lately?
Does she miss her alone time with Mommy?
Is she jealous of her little brother?

I don’t know what caused this upset. I wish I knew what spawned it.

I’m always professing my love for my children. I’m going to make a point to do it more often. You can never say those three words too often to your children.

Clearly, I also need to spend more alone time with her. Mommy and daughter spa day anyone?!?

12 Comments on Tonight My Heart Broke…

  1. L.R.Knost
    February 3, 2012 at 6:47 am (6 years ago)

    Aww…((Hugs)) It hurts to hear things like that from our little ones, but you can take comfort in knowing you’re providing the safe connection she needs to feel comfortable expressing her ‘uncomfortable’ emotions to you. It’s very normal and healthy for children to say goodbye to one stage of their lives as they move on to the next, and sometimes that goodbye can take the form of mild grieving and/or anxiety. It isn’t caused by a lack of attention or any other kind of lack on the parent’s part. On the contrary, it’s a reflection of her happy memories you’ve provided, and as you continue to connect with her and stay responsive to her emotions as she makes this transition, the result will be more happy memories and an exciting new stage in your relationship. You’re doing great, mama!

  2. Kelly @ City Mom
    February 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm (6 years ago)

    That is sad and sweet! I’ve been having some deep bedtime convos with my DD at bedtime too! It’s a very special time of the day! Sounds like you’re doing The right thing and it’s good to be aware of it. I don’t have a 2nd child so I have not experienced this but from what I’ve heard I think it’s normal!

  3. Just Us Girls
    February 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm (6 years ago)

    Awww! I went through this a bit with our DD when DS was born, it’s completely normal for them to react that way, even if you are making time for them. I made it a point to do one on one things with DD especially when DS would take naps and when DH was home to take over with him and we still do one on one time. We go and get our nails done, go see girly movies, give each other make overs and hair dews.

    One of the things I had DD do when DS was younger was help me with him. She loved that. Helping taking care of her brother was something that made her feel like a big girl and she loved that.

    HUGS to you girly!

  4. April Plummer
    February 3, 2012 at 3:29 pm (6 years ago)

    I understand your heartache. I feel the same way with my daughter. She’s growing up way too fast. Tonight, in fact, we’re having a girls’ night that I have been promising her…and then allowing something to take its place. And what can be more important that a good girls’ night? Exactly. Just about nothing. *Hugs* We’ve all been there. I agree – saying I love you randomly and constantly may not be something they appreciate now, but they will one day when they look back and remember that Mommy and Daddy never stopped loving them, even when they were at the most unloveableness. 🙂

  5. Katrina Brady
    February 3, 2012 at 4:28 pm (6 years ago)

    Funny how kids will even recognize one stage from the next. Feel good about yourself. She shared her feelings with you. That means you have a special closeness together! She trusts you with her heart 🙂

  6. Sober Julie
    February 3, 2012 at 4:51 pm (6 years ago)

    Oh these wee ones certainly grab our hearts! I have a bedtime routine with my eldest dd where we have 20 minutes alone…this seems to have eased her anxiety

  7. Mom vs. the boys
    February 3, 2012 at 7:18 pm (6 years ago)

    awww that’s sweet. my two year old decided he wanted to be a baby and went back to diapers, lord help me!

  8. OrangeHeroMama
    February 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm (6 years ago)

    awww! and thanks for the reminder.
    I know that i don’t say it enough, and i SHOULD!!!

  9. NPC
    February 4, 2012 at 12:15 am (6 years ago)

    I feel this all too often. Life changed with two! But, I mke it a point to make them both feel loved. I think it’s normal for them to feel thus way, you are doing good mama.

  10. PositivelyPamperedPatty
    February 4, 2012 at 1:12 am (6 years ago)

    I remember times like this. I always made the kids my main focus and as I had more, it became harder to focus. I have 4 and I made sure they were all rocked, cuddled, loved, the same way and the same amount of time for each one. My house was a mess, but my kids were happy.

  11. Sheilagh Lee
    February 4, 2012 at 1:19 am (6 years ago)

    a day for just the two of you doing something she wants would be just the ticket.

  12. Nicole
    February 4, 2012 at 11:59 am (6 years ago)

    The consensus seems that this is a normal stage. I’m finding comfort in that. I’m also comforted in knowing that Cadence feels she can confide in me. I can’t imagine how she must be feeling at 2.5 years old and expressing all these clusters of emotions. It must be daunting for them. All that matters to me is that my children feel loved, like they can talk to me about anything and are happy.

    – Nicole


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