As of Sunday, “C” has become a formula feeder. It took over a month and a half of fighting to get “C” to take a bottle of formula… But Sunday we became successful with our attempts.

For the past 6 months breastfeeding was not an easy experience for me. “C” was exclusively breastfed for the first 2 months of her life. We encountered a lot of problems where she would cry at the breast, fall asleep and not wake up to feed further, etc. At 2 months, I had to switch to exclusively pumping and she would occasionally nurse for her night feed. I had 7 to 8 pumping sessions a day where I would drain each breast. I had no problem with exclusively pumping for “C” until recently. Starting last week, “C” took to freaking out while I pumped to the point that you could’ve sworn that I was starving the poor child. Once I’d give her the bottle she would spit all the milk out, and push the bottle away… and then continue freaking out… so then I’d offer her the breast… well wouldn’t you think I was trying to kill her the moment she saw it… she’d flip right out!! It was awful, and certainly took an emotional toll on me. She’d be crying, I’d be crying… It wasn’t a nice feeling. After talking with my hubby, we figured that weaning “C” was the best decision. It is a really hard decision for me to come to terms with it, and it is really hitting home for me. I actually was lying in bed the other night thinking about it, and couldn’t help but cry. I’m going to miss that bond that I had with her while breastfeeding… I mean sure it is not like I have breastfed her in months given that I’ve been exclusively pumping… but it is knowing that I’ll never get to do it again that is hard to come to terms with.

I also hate knowing that I’m going to now have people jumping down my back for answers about why I stopped breastfeeding. Not like that is anyones’ fucking business, but my own.

Ugh… there is no real point to this post… I just needed to get this off my chest…

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