Tonight was a night that I haven’t been looking forward to.
Tonight was the night that my husband was to go out to celebrate his brother’s 30th, which he did, and I am so glad that he had the opportunity to escape the four walls for a little adult conversation and enjoyment of dinner without interruption. To be quite honest, I didn’t want to even go to the dinner, so I was relieved when we couldn’t find a sitter.
You see, the dinner was being held at a steakhouse… Me and anything to do with meat… Yea – we don’t quite mesh at the moment… It would have been hurl fest 2015 if I attended dinner, so it was best that I stayed home. Like I did.
What I wasn’t looking forward to, however, was the fact that staying home also meant that I had to take over the handling of bedtime routine with the littles. You see, ever since, my journey with breastfeeding my youngest ended in late October, she hasn’t gone to bed for anyone, but my husband.
She may be my little sidekick all day and all night, but when it comes to bedtime she wants no one other than Daddy to rock her to sleep. All hell usually breaks lose when he is not there to rock her to sleep.
Tonight, I let Everly stay up way past her bedtime. We had a dance party. We snuggled and watched In The Night Garden; a show that is meant to help soothe and relax children before bed or nap time. Afterwards we headed upstairs to ready for bed.
As I sat in the rocking chair with her snuggled up on my chest, I couldn’t help but feel so grateful.
I have been so frazzled lately that I haven’t really had the opportunity to sit back, enjoy the calm and reflect.
I have been quite worn down lately, and theses last few days have been quite the whirlwind.
Yesterday was a PA Day for my children. Being that they had the day off of school, I took the opportunity to connect with an old friend to have a few shots of the kids taken.
The day itself wound up being quite dreary. However, we lucked out the in that the rain held off for most of our photo shoot.
Thankfully I remembered to pack up our Boogie Wipes prior to heading out to Cullen Gardens for the photo session because the winds sure did bring on some sniffles.
The weather aside, we wound up walking away from the morning with some pretty cute shots that I cannot wait to share with the family in the coming weeks.
The kids really enjoyed the treat that came after the photo session. We took a drive through the country while they enjoyed the in-car entertainment, and wrapped up the great morning enjoying a little McDonald’s for lunch (something that does not happen very often in this household).
Today was another day. A day that found me wearing my finest pair of cranky pants. I’ll be honest when I say my mood was absolutely rotten today. I had been feeling quite sore and pukey, and the lead up to this evening that I had been dreading wasn’t helping any.
It took sitting back this evening to really be able to look at the big picture.
My life while chaotic and sometimes messy is pretty amazing. I have a beautiful family. A house over my head and food on the table (while I may not want to eat it right now, at least it’s there). But not just that – I have memories. Memories that can last a lifetime.
As I sat in that rocking chair with my youngest, I got teary. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones, blame it on what you will… But I just felt so grateful of this beautiful life I have created for myself.
When I was a child, I was always so worried about growing up and having it all. Now here I am, and I have to say while adulting can sometimes be hard… Sometimes I wish I could turn to an adultier (yes, I know that isn’t a word) adult (like Mom)… Or could hide under a blanket fort and colour (y’know to escape from adulthood)… However, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I may not have it all, but now that I am older and see the big picture – I honestly don’t want it all. I am grateful and blessed for what I do have and this family I have grown. That’s all I need. Family, health and happiness. That is all that matters in the end.
Sometimes we just need those quiet moments. The quiet moments that can so often be lack thereof during parenthood to appreciate the little things, but when those quiet moments arise… Damn. They sure can snap you out of a funk. For that I am grateful.
Disclosure: I am a Kandoo Kids Ambassador. Compensation has been provided. All opinions are those of my own.