Last week I went away for a couple of days to the ShesConnected Conference. I felt a little nervous to be heading away from my kids for a few days, but I very quickly overcame that. I was distracted. Simply put.

Before leaving on the morning of the 29th, I shared one last breastfeeding session with Cameron. Pumped off any excess. Made sure both kids had a good snuggle and I was good to go.

I knew leaving for a few days that there was that slight risk that Cameron might decide to self wean, but I took that chance. I had been away overnight in the weeks prior, and Cameron had done just fine without his nighttime nursing session. I figured the transition between breast and bottle would go just as well this time around. Wrong.

On the morning of the 1st, I tried to nurse Cameron. You would have thought I was torturing him. He pushed away from the breast. Screamed. Arched his back. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me or breastfeeding. I kept insisting, but that only made matters worse until I caved and offered him a bottle to which he happily accepted.

I really struggled with breastfeeding Cadence, and exclusively pumped from 2 to 6 months of age. So for me to say that I’ve been able to breastfeed Cameron for 8 months has been a big deal. It’s not something I want to let go of. Not yet at least. When I came home to my nursing baby on strike and potentially weaning, my heart broke and world shattered. I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel and call it a day. I’ve had a goal of breastfeeding him until at least a year.

I wound up breaking down on the evening of the 2nd, and contacted a lactation consultant. She advised me to pump like crazy and offer lots of skin on skin time to him. She informed me that it is quite easy for babies to easily forget how to breastfeed, but to be persistent with him. As of last night, Cameron has successfully regained his need for his nighttime nursing sessions. I can’t tell you how happy this has made me. I really enjoy the bond that Cameron and I have through breastfeeding.

I know the end of our breastfeeding days will come one day, but until then I’m embracing what remains.

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