So for the past week and a bit I’ve been staying a good hour away from home watching my brother with C in tow while my Mom is vacationing in the Dominican. During this past week I’ve been given a good reality check of what it would be like if I were a single Mom… and lets just say the reality check hit home real hard… and made me appreciate how good I have it, and made me also appreciate single parents so much more (they really do have a hard job between raising a child and having to work! I don’t know how they do it…).

For the past week, I have gotten about 3 to 4 hours sleep each night max. This is not normal for C. She usually goes down at 7PM… wakes between 10 and 12 for a feed… and goes back down until 5 or 6 until she wakes for another feed… and then gets up at 7:30AM. This past week, she’d go down at 9:30PM (I’d go to bed around 10:30), and she’d wake up around 1:30 or 2 screaming. I’d try to feed her, change her, rock her… everything possible but nothing would work. I’d eventually have to bring her in to bed with me for snuggles and let her jabber away until she dooze off, and then I’d try to put her back in her pack’n’play… Then the cycle would start all over again until 7:30AM. Needless to say I’m exhausted and have a permanent headache that I just can’t seem to shake…. I literally feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack Truck… That’d probably be the best way to describe it.

The day-to-day wasn’t so bad at first. I’ve been having to see to my brother getting to school, homework done, chores done, lunch and dinner on the table on top of maintaining the house… in addition to entertaining C, feeding, changing, walking her… Oh you get the picture… Life has been busy!!! C has been a doll for the most part during the day, but for the past two days she has been teething pretty badly, which has left her utterly miserable. I went out to dinner with a good friend from highschool last night, and the whole time C screamed. I was so embarrased, but there was nothing I could do to calm her down… She was just in that mode. I’m not used to seeing her acting out like this. I felt like such a horrible Mom… a failure.

I’m so happy to be heading home today just so I can catch a wee bit of break. Last night as I was lying in bed with her while she was fussing away, I started going through the emotions of panic, frustration, upset… I just felt so down on myself for not being able to calm her down. I know things will feel differently once I get home… I’m just sooooo tired and at the end of my rope…

Like I said I have a new appreciation for a lot of things after these past few days…

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