Wow… Okay so I seem to be on a roll with my posts today. Hehe. What can I say I am just in the mood to type and express my innermost, deepest thoughts. Haha. Okay well not really, but you get the point. Today has been one of those crazy days full of boredom. I mean work was so friggin’ slow! There was only me, and two other financial advisors in the office today. Tomorrow isn’t going to get any better; tomorrow there will only be me and one other advisor in…. So let’s just say tomorrow is going to blow — MAJOR! But I have to look on the brightside… at least tomorrow is Friday, and it is the start of a long weekend! Yay!

Anyway, so you’d think that after the crazy boring day that I had at work today that I would be feeling quite lethargic, and wanting to do absolutely nothing… ZLICH… NATTA… when I got home…. BUUUUUTTT…. NO!! When I got home I had this burst of energy. This past month I have gotten back in the groove of working out at least 3 to 4 times a week, sometimes 5. My whole point of getting back into the routine is because I have this goal I want to reach. Yes, I know what you are thinking… Her goal is to get back in shape, be more toned, and confident with her body… blah… blah… blah… But in all seriousness… That isn’t my goal. Yes, while it is nice to be fit, and in shape, etc. that isn’t what I am trying to achieve. See…. most people who have known me for a long time know that I used to be a competitive dancer. I started dancing when I was 5, and started competitive dance when I was 8 or 9. I danced competitively until I was 17 or so, and that was when things took a turn for the worst. While I was in highschool, I decided that I wanted to not just be a student, but I wanted to be involved with the social commitees and sports teams, etc. Where I really found my calling was on the track team. My time on the track team actually ended up being quite short — about a month or so. I was one of the top female long distance runners in my class at the time. I was just about able to keep up with Cameron (who was the top male long distance runner in my class). My coach loved how well I was doing at each practice that he took it upon himself to decide that in gym class he would pull me away from the class to do laps through the bleachers and around the gym — something you should keep in mind is that this coach never wanted us to do proper warm ups, which I guess in a way it was kind of my fault for letting him push me so hard… So there was one day after school at practice I was running with Cameron. I started to cramp up in my lower body (legs, thighs, gluts). The pain was excuriaiting! Once practice was done I went into the girls locker room, and as soon as I got in there I collapsed to the floor… I can still remember that day so clearly. Thankfully, there was another student in there at the time, and realized I needed help. I was in sooo much pain… I couldn’t walk. This girl managed to get a hold of a few of my friends who came to the school, picked me up, and took me home — they literally had to carry me to my doorstep. The next day the pain still wasn’t any better so I had to be taken to the doctor — and that was when everything sunk into me. I just knew what the doctor was going to say…. He was going to tell me that I couldn’t dance for a while. And, sure enough that is what he said. I had pulled muscles, and tendants — which explained why I was in so much pain. I got pulled out of dance when I was 17, and I haven’t danced since. There are days when my legs/thighs are really achey and sore… but I have a lot of good days too. Dancing was my life…. It was my happy place… And to be honest I REALLY miss it! I would love for anything to revisit the world of dance — it was the place that took me away from all my misery, doubts, sadness… It really helped me express myself and define the girl I am today — which might also explain why I have a strong passion for music, as well.

So my goal behind working out is that I am hoping that over time I will be able to strengthen my muscles, and tone my body to the point that when I go see the doctor again for an evaulation… he will tell me that it is okay to hit up the studio again. And if I get that go ahead — I think I might just let out tears of joy! Hehe. I know it is going to take me some work, and that I will probably endure a lot of pain and tears trying to reach what I want to achieve, but I have the willpower and I know with time I can do it. 🙂

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